'Ceville' Gets Watered Down for the Pocket Gamer

Amidst recent news that the iPhone 3Gs and 3rd generation Touch are capable of running Unreal Engine 3, the same engine behind Unreal Tournament, Bioshock and Gears of War, my expectations for this platform may have shot up a couple notches...along with my blood pressure. With more console-like titles en route to the device, the days of five buck apps may be numbered, not to mention the lifespan of my grizzled iPhone 3G. Ultimately though, progress is progress, and if economics has taught me anything, the droves of iTunes patrons who have thus far shied away from games that exceed the cost of a quarter tank of gas will determine the price point. To the disdain of grubby devs and publishers, I imagine.

It was with this mindset that I approached Kalypso Media's iPhone adaptation of Ceville, a seeming afterthought to the "well-acted, well-localized and hilarious" PC version that IGN described in their rave review. Admittedly, I didn't read Ceville's press email, which described the adaptation as "an arcade version of the hit PC adventure," with hawk-eyes. But I did note the blurring of their differences: "Graphically very close to the PC title, the mobile version also features the original game music," and "all the latest information on Ceville can be found at www.ceville-game.com." This is exactly where I navigated next, where I was enticed by a series of too-good-to-be-true screen shots and a game description that tickled my fancy. (In hindsight, the iPhone version was but a blip on Kalypso's site, casually mentioned in the news section with no description and a link to the iTunes store.)

A year ago, or perhaps even a few months, I think I would've immediately recognized that an in-depth 3D point-and-click adventure on a cell phone was too good to be true. But the release of games like Myst, Dexter and the recent news of Unreal's Engine running swimmingly on the device effectively shifted my expectations. Whether deliberate or not, the blurring between the PC and iPhone versions of Ceville lead me to expect a high quality adventure game, not the infantile tomato-chucking arcade mini-game I encountered when I first launched the app. It's suffice to say that I was disappointed, and while I did attempt to re-calibrate my critical lens, I just couldn't shake the feeling of being duped.

Ceville the arcade game is a throw away, beatable within six minutes, lacking in value, devoid of story and fun. It's very much the opposite of its source material, and I can't help but think the devs were trying to squeeze an extra buck out of their PC success by entering a mobile market that they just don't understand.

Ceville arcade has no player orientation whatsoever. There is no story, no in-game tutorial, nothing. You can choose to play as either Lilly or Ceville (there names are actually absent from the game), but this has no impact on gameplay. Lilly chucks rocks, Ceville chucks tomatoes.

The first level takes place in a dungeon, where a bunch of random characters waltz around as your target practice. They aren't capable of actually harming you, they just pop up at varied distances from your first-person vantage point. To knock 'em down, simply tap on the location you want your rock or tomato to end up. It's a basic exercise in timing slightly complicated by the fact that the level is a smidge wider than your iPhone screen. You can shift your perspective from side to side via the accelerometer or by dragging your finger across the playable area. Oh yea, and should you run out of projectiles just tap on their icon to replenish your stash. It's really challenging.

You have approximately a minute and a half to rack up as many points as possible, after which you'll most likely unlock the next level, an oasis. Point goals are never explicitly stated in the game, but I was able to unlock all two unavailable levels on my first go. Points are tallied in some nebulous fashion. It would seem that pwning baddies farther away from you would earn more points, but this wasn't the case. There are, however, bonus multipliers for consecutive hits that behave as expected.

Overall, Ceville's difficulty is laughable. I can't imagine anyone over the age of five spending more than fifteen minutes on the game.

Again, in the press email I received Ceville's graphics were described as being "very close" to the PC title. I'm starting to think those responsible for the public relations campaign had never seen the original. To be fair, the iPhone version's graphics are not bad - they're both colorful and well rendered - but if you take a quick glance at the game gallery on Kalypso's site, you'll see that the original is freaking gorgeous. Oh yea, and it's got one whole dimension up on the mobile version. To say that the graphics resemble the original is doing the iPhone version a disservice.

Similarly, the claim of having voice-overs from the original is also misleading. There are exactly two spoken phrases in the game, which seem to be lifted from the original without any regard to context. These phrases are spoken when selecting your character, and make absolutely no freakin' sense. Lilly says, "Yes, there's this little voice that tells me to." I'm not joking. At least the original music is intact.

TS Recommendation:

It should be most evident by now that Thumb Spree does not recommend picking up Ceville. As of this review, it's overpriced, skimpy on content, and completely lacking in fun. If you really don't believe me then download the lite version and judge for yourself. But honestly, it's not even worth the time it takes to download.

Merry Christmas folks.

Title: Ceville
Developer: Kalypso Media
Price: $1.99
Lite Version: Yes
Compatible Devices: All Devices Supported
Test Device: iPhone 3G

'Ceville' Gets Watered Down for the Pocket Gamer